


That empty place inside

by ToTheStarsWriting



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Bonding, Dragon Riders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hurt Alec, I always write about dragons, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Light Angst, M/M, Protective Magnus, Supportive Magnus Bane, cleaning up his mess, it should be, post valentine, they're fun, why is that never addressed?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheStarsWriting/pseuds/ToTheStarsWriting
Summary: For as long as there’d been Shadowhunters roaming the earth, using the powers granted to them by the blood of angels that flowed through their veins, there had been dragons. Wonderful, stunning creatures of magic who, for some reason that no one knew, bonded to Shadowhunters and Shadowhunters alone in one of the only shows of magic the Clave approved of.It was a ritual when a Shadowhunter had their first rune ceremony for it to be followed by a trip to Idris. There, in the sacred nesting grounds where all dragons went to lay their eggs, a Shadowhunter would walk through those already hatched and those waiting, and they would find their dragon. Sometimes they’d find them in the youths playing, the two drawn together with a bond considered even more sacred than that of parabatai. Other times, the touch of the Rider would be enough to draw a dragon from their egg.It was rare for a dragon to reach adulthood without bonding to their Rider.It was unheard of for a Shadowhunter not to have a dragon.
Relationships: Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland - Relationship, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 48
Kudos: 683
Collections: Malec best, Suggested Good Reads





	1. Chapter 1

“Trainers on deck!”

The familiar call echoed through the training yards of the New York Institute. It was one they all heard plenty of times, and everyone reacted immediately to it.

From the sidelines, Alec Lightwood watched as the ground was cleared of all non-necessary personnel. Not that many were out here at this time. Only those who liked to sit on what many trainees had nicknamed the ‘patio’ and watch the training sessions.

No one chose to stick around today. No surprise, really. One look at the Head of the Institute standing there watching, and they quickly scurried off to find something else to do.

Alec didn’t mind. It meant there was no one there to bother him as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against one of the pillars, and watched his siblings. They were abandoning their weapons on the sidelines, eager to get to their favorite part of training. Which, really, was the whole reason that anyone liked to stand out here and watch to begin with. It wasn’t to watch their hand-to-hand, or their skill in weapons, though both were impressive.

It was to watch them on their dragons.

For as long as there’d been Shadowhunters roaming the earth, using the powers granted to them by the blood of angels that flowed through their veins, there had been dragons. Wonderful, stunning creatures of magic who, for some reason that no one knew, bonded to Shadowhunters and Shadowhunters alone in one of the only shows of magic the Clave approved of.

It was a ritual when a Shadowhunter had their first rune ceremony for it to be followed by a trip to Idris. There, in the sacred nesting grounds where all dragons went to lay their eggs, a Shadowhunter would walk through those already hatched and those waiting, and they would find their dragon. Sometimes they’d find them in the youths playing, the two drawn together with a bond considered even more sacred than that of parabatai. Other times, the touch of the Rider would be enough to draw a dragon from their egg.

It was rare for a dragon to reach adulthood without bonding to their Rider.

It was _unheard of_ for a Shadowhunter not to have a dragon.

Alexander Lightwood had been destined from birth, it seemed, to defy convention in every way possible. To always stand out despite his best efforts to hide. To be _different_. Wrong.

When he went to Idris after his Rune ceremony, he’d been so eager for one of those glorious dragons to be his. Not to command them, as some naïve young Shadowhunters talked about, too young to understand the truth of the Bond between dragon and Rider. Nor for the glory that others spoke of.

In the quiet, aching parts of his soul where Alec kept the things he knew he shouldn’t want, he longed to have someone who would bond to him and be _his_ as much as he would be _theirs_. Someone who would love him for who he was no matter what. Who would always stand by his side.

He wanted not to be _alone_.

Watching his siblings now as they rose to the sky on the backs of their dragons brought out the same old ache. The one Alec had felt at the end of his first trip to Idris. The one he’d continued to feel on every consecutive trip after that. One that had built each time Alec had walked amongst dragons and their eggs and felt not a hint of the Bond so many others spoke of.

That ache grew now as a low laugh filled the air, and Clary shot up after Jace, the bright glow of her white dragon lighting up the sky with the brightness of sunshine on freshly fallen snow.

For the longest time, Alec had convinced himself not to hope for the one thing he’d always wanted. He’d told himself that he was too old now. If it hadn’t happened after his Rune ceremony, it wasn’t going to happen now, no matter how many times his parents made him go back. All Shadowhunters bonded at the same age. Even some Shadowhunters who had somehow been lost in the mundane world were brought back to them. They came, answering the call of the Bond at the age they should’ve been runed.

But then came along Clarissa Fairchild, who’d somehow managed to stay hidden from the Clave, who’d never answered the call of the Bond, and Alec had thought that he might not be alone.

Right up until the day she and Jace faced off with Valentine on the shores of Lake Lyn and Clary’s pain had called her dragon from its egg and brought it to her in an unprecedented move. The two together had killed Valentine, somehow healed Jace, and made themselves the gem of Idris.

And left Alec alone once more.

He tried not to let it bother him. Tried not to think about it despite being faced with dragons every single day of his life. Not just dragons, but Shadowhunters who’d never quite been able to stop looking at him sideways as if trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Or maybe worried that it might be catching.

At least when Alec escaped to Magnus’ at night, he was free from the taunts of what he wanted and would never have.

As if thinking about the man had summoned him, Alec felt the presence of magic brushing up against his back, a deliberate stroke from tailbone to neck that brought a soft smile to his lips. He didn’t have to turn; knew that Magnus would come to a stop right next to him, their arms brushing but their bodies keeping only far enough apart to stay appropriate.

Feeling the warmth of Magnus right there next to him helped chase away a little more of Alec’s tension.

“I didn’t expect to find you out here,” Magnus said.

Alec gave a soft hum, eyes fixed upon his siblings as they ran through their forms, twisting and turning with the kind of agility and grace Alec wouldn’t ever _not_ be impressed by.

It’d always seemed such a mystery to Alec that beings of such beauty, such magic, were tied so closely to the very souls who had spent far too long trying to suppress and control anyone and anything that hinted at magic. Of course, the Clave considered warlock magic to be demonic, dark, and the magic of dragons to be something _pure_.

Alec hadn’t ever really seen any sort of difference between the two. But then again, what would he know? As the only Shadowhunter in existence _without_ a dragon, it wasn’t like anyone was going to listen to him on the subject.

Shaking his thoughts away, Alec brought his attention back to the here and now. To Magnus, who had shifted closer and hooked his pinky into Alec’s pocket right next to his hand. It was a small, silent touch, and yet it meant the world to Alec. Not just the touch itself but also the fact that Magnus even thought to do it. That he noticed Alec’s mood and sought out a way to help despite their situation.

“We’ve got another hour yet before it’ll be dark where we’re going,” Alec said abruptly, going back to Magnus’ question that he hadn’t technically answered yet. He knew why his lover was asking; Alec had been the one to send Magnus a message asking him to come to the Institute for a mission.

In their post-war cleanup efforts, Alec and others had been working hard to try and do everything they could to fix the damage and clean up all the messes that Valentine had left behind. They worked to not only track down the remaining Circle members but also trace down and any all buildings that Valentine might’ve been using to house people, weapons, or his multitude of experiments. So far, their efforts had netted them four different warehouses, two of which had held Downworlders in them. Vampires, seelies, warlocks, werewolves, even a couple unseelie, and one random mermaid, all of whom had been caught and experimented on.

With each new place they found, each victim they spoke with, each captured Circle member they interrogated, more information was put together to lead them to their next location. Alec had poured himself into trying to do everything he could to find every scrap of information there was. With the help of Andrew Underhill, Alec’s Head of Security, and someone who he was starting to almost think of as a friend, they’d been able to piece together bits of information and pinpoint what they were pretty sure was another storage place.

Watching as Clary’s dragon snaked under Isabelle’s, popping up the other side while Clary laughed, Alec took a moment to update Magnus on what they’d found so far. “Underhill and I are pretty sure we uncovered somewhere new to look into. From what we can gather, this isn’t going to be a place with people, but it might hold some of Valentine’s things, so I don’t want to take the risk of bringing in a big team.”

“So, just our little group, then,” Magnus said easily.

Alec nodded. “It seemed smarter. If we need backup…”

“They’re just a portal away.”

“Exactly.” Finally breaking his gaze away from those training, Alec lowered it to look over at his boyfriend, a smile softening his face as he did. “I’ll make sure the Institute compensates you for your efforts.”

He loved the way that Magnus lit up a little at his teasing. Unlike others, who sometimes had a hard time telling when Alec was joking, Magnus never had that issue. It didn’t matter if Alec looked like he was scowling or sounded flat or annoyed. Magnus always seemed to easily catch on to Alec’s humor. More than that, he’d blatantly told Alec that he _loved_ that he was comfortable enough to start teasing and playing around with him. He even liked Alec’s dry humor and the jokes Alec told that Magnus firmly insisted were something called _dad jokes_.

Leaning in, Magnus grinned. It was bright and dirty, a quick flash of teeth that had Alec shivering. “I’m sure we’ll come to some sort of _satisfactory_ agreement.”

The way that Alec’s cheeks heated up with a blush despite all the months they’d been together was enough to have Magnus laughing softly. He tugged at Alec’s pocket and drew them in a little closer until their arms knocked together.

“Why don’t we go in and start our discussions a bit early, hm?” Magnus suggested, giving Alec’s pocket another pull, this time following it up with a small step back, trying to lead Alec away.

“I should…” Alec gestured vaguely toward the others.

Grin softening into some warmer, a look reserved just for Alec that always warmed up all the cold places inside him, Magnus took another step back, still tugging as he went. “Come with me and take advantage of the maybe fifteen minutes we might have before your siblings and Clarissa join us? Yes, I quite agree.”

Alec wasn’t blind to what his boyfriend was doing. He knew that Magnus understood better than anyone else around just how much Alec felt his lack of a dragon. How it was like there were empty places in Alec that just _ached_ to be filled with a bond he was never going to get. Magnus had helped Alec through bouts of self-loathing, through all those quiet fears he never admitted to where he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe people were right. Maybe there _was_ something wrong with him.

Not once had Magnus shied away from the broken parts of Alec. Nor had he made him feel like less just because he wasn’t like everyone else.

By this point, Alec felt safe to say that Magnus knew him better than anyone else, and he was good at dragging Alec away from the self-destructive tendencies just like this one. Preventing him from moments like this where the only thing Alec was doing was torturing himself by watching what he couldn’t have.

And Alec – Alec was getting better at _letting_ him. At allowing Magnus to step in and pull him back from the proverbial ledge.

There were a few heads that turned as the two made their way through the Institute. Alec had gotten a lot better at letting their looks roll off his back. A lifetime of having people look sideways at him for one reason or another had taught him how to mostly block it out. At least this time it was for a good reason. He could put up with whatever looks they gave him so long as Magnus continued to look at him with that wide, eye crinkling smile of his.

Alec was laughing by the time Magnus yanked him into his office and shut the door with a quick flash of sparks. He reached out to catch hold of Magnus and pull him in for a quick kiss, sharing the taste of laughter between them.

When they pulled apart, there was a warm light in Magnus’ eyes, the glamour long gone. Seeing that never failed to take Alec’s breath away.

“I thought we were supposed to be discussing business, Mr. Lightwood,” Magnus said playfully. He slid his one hand from where it had landed on Alec’s hip during their kiss, snaking it around to his back pocket, where he slipped it in and tugged Alec forward, bringing their hips together. “Do you treat all your associates like this?”

Alec chuckled. He brought both of his hands up to curl at Magnus’ shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze. “Only the attractive ones.”

“Mm.” Magnus tilted his head up so that his nose bumped against Alec’s. Their lips brushed together in the briefest excuse for a kiss. Then he held there, his breath warm as he murmured right against Alec’s lips. “I’m not sure your boyfriend would be pleased with that.”

“I don’t see why. There’s not a single person around that can compare to him.”

Those soft, candid words earned Alec another kiss, this one lasting much longer than the last.

When they broke apart, Magnus looked up at Alec, and he was so beautiful. There was something different about him in these quiet moments. Something that Alec never failed to appreciate. It was the soft part of Magnus peeking out through the masks he usually kept. A little glimpse of the man that only those Magnus considered _family_ ever got to see.

“Aren’t you the smooth one?” Magnus asked teasingly, though he clearly didn’t have a problem with it.

“I’m just telling the truth.” There was no one out there who held a candle to the glorious being in his arms. Why on earth would Alec ever want to look elsewhere? “I’ve got everything I need right here.”

Alec wasn’t too surprised when Magnus kissed him again. He gave himself over to it and, for a few minutes, let himself get lost in Magnus.

* * *

The two had finally broken apart and were actually looking over a map of the area when the door to Alec’s office opened. He barely glanced up, already knowing who it was. There were only certain people who walked into his office without knocking – a habit he was desperately trying to break them of.

Not that Alec didn’t want his siblings around. But there were times where Alec was in a meeting that he definitely didn’t need them to interrupt. Especially when Alec wasn’t even sure he’d be able to get them to listen enough to leave again. Seeing his own family undermine his authority wasn’t something Alec needed to happen in front of anyone.

Magnus shared the same thoughts, even more so than Alec did. He’d been the one to point out just how bad they were, and how it might look to others. He was also the one to get the most annoyed by what he perceived as their _continued disrespect._

That showed on his face now when Magnus tilted his head up and gave the group coming in a flat look. “I’m tempted to spell your door, darling, so that no one can walk in without knocking first.”

“Relax,” Jace said, flashing a teasing grin. “We were summoned here by his Holiness.” He went straight to the couch with Clary and dropped down on it, legs kicking out to cross at the ankle. His dragon, a goldstone dragon by the name of Jonik, climbed off Jace’s shoulder to stretch along the back of the couch. While at the moment he was small, no larger than a housecat, in his usual form Jonik was by far the biggest dragon at the New York Institute. And a few other Institutes, too.

Meanwhile, Clary’s little white dragon, Pel, had to be one of the smallest. Though that didn’t mean he was any less fierce. Pel was a lot like his Rider – tiny and deadly. He’d sized himself down for this meeting, too, a skill of dragons that Alec was consistently grateful for. Otherwise, they’d never be able to be inside with them. Though magic helped them keep a large training yard in the back of the Institute, Alec wasn’t sure what it would take to make the inside equally big. They’d have to find a bigger mundane place to build on than an old abandoned church and cemetery.

Compared to the other dragons, though, even like this, Pel was small. He was about the size of a kitten, comfortably fitting into the hood of Clary’s jackets or down into her sweater pocket. For the moment, he was in her lap as she sank down next to Jace on the couch.

The look Magnus shot Jace’s way was sharp enough to cut. Those two were the strangest type of friends; they liked one another, and – to Alec’s pleasure – could even choose to hang out with each other outside of work if they wanted. Their time sharing the loft had helped that along. But they also had absolutely no issue arguing with one another until everyone around them was ready to rip their hair out.

Isabelle cut in before they could get started. She, at least, had come right up to Alec’s desk. She moved between the two chairs and came right up to the desk. There, she lifted her hip to rest on the desk and looked down at the map in front of them. “You guys found another location.”

“It would appear so,” Alec answered. He spread his hands over the map to smooth it out and then pointed to the area they’d be going to. “Our information suggests that Valentine had a warded building somewhere in this region.”

He made space for Isabelle to look over the map. Despite her being their Weapons Master, Alec was well aware of how brilliant a mind Isabelle had, and how good she was at logistics and planning. The two of them had spent many nights in one of their bedrooms going over some of Alec’s homework when they were at the Academy. There were some classes that he’d taken that she wasn’t able to since he was the one training to become Institute Head one day. But that’d never stopped Alec from sharing his work with her. She was good at it, too. Though Isabelle liked to say they were best at it together.

A little furrow appeared between Isabelle’s brows when she took in the area they were going to. “There’s a lot of open space here.”

“Yeah.” Alec grimaced a little. That wasn’t going to make their approach any easier. Having that much open space was good when you were the one on the defensive. When you were the offense, trying to get in? It was hell.

Magnus braced one hand on Alec so that he could lean in and gesture toward the spot they’d picked earlier. “I’m going to portal us in here, behind this bit of trees. It’ll be a bit of a hike, and there’s likely going to be booby-traps of some sort in there, but it’ll do us better than simply walking across the open fields.”

Alec watched with no small amount of pride as his sister and his boyfriend bent over the map and quickly went over what needed to be done. Since Alec already knew the plan, and he trusted them to tell him whatever changes they thought should be made, Alec took advantage of the time to step out around the desk and check-in with Jace and Clary.

“We’re not taking in a big team tonight,” Alec told them when he passed around the desk. “I want it to be just us.”

He wasn’t the least bit surprised by the big grin his parabatai wore. “Good. Fewer people to get in the way.”

Rolling his eyes, Alec stopped in the middle space between his desk and the couch. Folding his arms over his chest, he looked down at the two in front of him. They were the ones who had the potential to cause the most trouble. “We don’t know what exactly we’re going up against, but right now intel suggests this might be more storage than anything else. That doesn’t mean we won’t come across anyone, though. Clary, you’re one of our best at stealth. I’m going to have you and Isabelle take point when we get there and try and see what you can find from the outside. Then we’ll make the decision on whether to go in or call for backup.”

“You got it,” Clary said, giving a mock salute with her hand. Her smile took away any offense to her gentle teasing. She was also sitting up a little straighter, her pride at his words clear. Alec didn’t hand out compliments easily.

Her teasing had Alec resisting the urge to roll his eyes again. Though he did let a small smile curl up the corner of his mouth. Then he turned toward Jace. “Once we all secure the building, I want you and Clary to go out and maintain the perimeter. I don’t want anyone coming in until Magnus, Izzy, and I finish our assessment and decide what’s needed to deal with whatever we find.”

“So, stay outside and away from the potential toys,” Jace said. He wrinkled his nose a little. Jace _hated_ perimeter duty. As he often told Alec, it was usually boring. Especially on these jobs where the chance of random Circle members returning while they were there was almost zero.

Not that Alec had any sympathy for him. “Maybe if you stopped trying to touch random magical objects, I wouldn’t have to put you out there.”

“That was one time!” Jace protested loudly. At Alec’s glare, he huffed. “Okay, twice. But that was it! And it wasn’t like it killed me or anything.”

“The last time had you in the infirmary for three days!”

On their last raid, they’d come across a few magical objects that Valentine had collected, likely in an attempt to figure out how to harness them somehow. For a man who was against Downworlders, he’d never been afraid of trying to utilize warlock magic or any other magical object. He’d believed that magic should only be trusted in the hands of angels – or nephilim, as it may be.

Jace, being Jace, far too cocky for his own good sometimes, had touched what appeared to be a simple walking stick. It’d taken Magnus three days to remove the body-lock charm it’d put on him.

From his spot on the back of the couch, Jonik let out a snort that shot flames at Jace. His golden-bronze scales were leaning more toward golden in the flickering firelight, and it made the bit of scruff and whiskers at the hinge of his jaw seem to dance. “Don’t worry, Alec’ta. I’ll keep him from doing something stupid,” he said, voice a deep grumble full of fond affection for his Rider.

The loud “Hey!” Jace let out was drown out by Clary’s and Pel’s laughter.

“Good luck with that,” Pel said. His voice was a lot higher than Jonik’s, more of an excited squeak than anything else. Without the typical horns, frills, or whiskers on his face, and with that squeak of a voice, it made Pel seem so very young. He’d barely been hatched when he came to Clary’s aid. Together, the two were so very new to this world, and yet Pel seemed a calm, stable influence on her. While he might be young, he was steady and kind. A perfect match for Clary.

Jace scowled over at them, though it was softer than his normal one. He never could seem to get honestly mad at Clary – or, by extension, Pel. “I’m not _that_ bad!”

“No, of course not,” Isabelle said teasingly. Her dragon, Tannyll, a quiet yet feisty poison dragon, slithered a little up her arm and let out a laughing hiss. Tannyll was long and slender, with two sets of wings to bear his weight, and he often liked to curl around Isabelle’s arm or neck much the same way her whip curled around her wrist. In shades of red and silver, his scales shone like jewels, sometimes making it easy for others to mistake him as jewelry.

Alec rolled his eyes again and shook his head at them. “If you children are done,” he said dryly. The looks they shot him only had him battling back a smirk. “We should probably gear up and get to the portal room before it gets much later. I want us there in time for it to be fresh dark. That’ll be our best chance at doing this.”

This wasn’t a big mission, but it could prove to be important, depending on what they found there. Alec’s siblings could play around all they liked up until the mission was started. Once it was, he was going to have their full attention. Just because this one’s information suggested it might be easy didn’t mean it was going to be. They had to be prepared.

* * *

For all that his siblings had a tendency to goof around while they were doing things, and the occasional moments where Jace couldn’t resist touching something shiny, they’d never once disappointed Alec on an actual mission. They were good at balancing the joking half of things with the need to be serious and on alert. Clary had smoothly fit herself right in with it, teasing with the best of them while still keeping on alert.

Surprisingly, so had Magnus.

When they stepped out of the portal, there wasn’t any scrambling to try and figure out where they should go or how they should move. Magnus and Alec took the lead since Magnus would be needed to make sure they weren’t going to walk into any sort of traps laid out around them in the trees, while the other three took up the rear, spaced out to offer them the best protection.

The night was cold, and the ground still slightly damp from earlier rain, as the five people and three dragons moved almost silently through the shadows. The dragons stayed small for the moment, taking to the air to provide their own cover for them, eyes alert for any sign of trouble. With their magic – and a little boost from Magnus – to shelter them, they wouldn’t be seen unless they wanted to be.

The rest of them were barely visible in the dim light provided by the almost hidden moon. Heavy clouds made it clear that the earlier rain was likely going to continue at some point.

Alec hoped they were long gone from there by then.

He stepped around a rock and found his boot squelching a little as it sank into the grass and mud. Feeling it, and seeing it, had him wincing a little. Not because he personally cared—getting dirt off was a lot easier than getting ichor off—but because his time with Magnus had taught him how much the warlock hated things like this. Not just on his own shoes, though he was going to be livid about that, but on Alec’s shoes if he was coming over. Alec had learned to take his boots off before he even went in the door on nights they were filthy.

A glance over showed Magnus was already mock-glaring at him. “You know, you’re very much going to owe me a new pair of shoes once this is all said and done.”

A loud snort came from the other side of Alec. “Says the guy who can snap up a whole new outfit in seconds. It’s no one’s fault but your own that you didn’t put on better shoes for this,” Jace pointed out without an ounce of sympathy.

“That is completely beside the point,” Magnus said, nose wrinkling as he pulled his boot out of another bit of mud to step over a large rock. Alec caught his elbow and braced him, earning him a flash of a smile before Magnus went back to glaring at Jace. “I wasn’t expecting to have to hike through mud to get there.”

“You and me both,” Isabelle chimed in. She and Clary were walking side by side, the two of them sticking close enough that Clary could reach out and brace Isabelle in the more tough spots they walked through. Isabelle was in the same boat as Magnus was, if not worse. Her boots went up to mid-calf and had a heel on them that had to be at least seven inches.

While Alec was all for his sister’s self-expression and style, he had to admit that he had no idea how on earth she hadn’t fallen yet.

He shook his head, clearing out thoughts of _shoes_ of all things, and gave everyone a pointed look as he reminded them, “We are aiming for _stealth_ here, guys.”

That shut everyone up.

The next bit of their walk was done in silence. Everyone spread out a bit more, on alert for any sort of trouble, but they came across nothing. When Alec checked in with Magnus, a head shake let him know that his partner hadn’t found anything. Which meant that a few outcomes were likely from this. Either this place wasn’t as important as they’d thought, the traps had worn away without warlocks here to renew them, or the site was a bust.

They’d find out soon enough – Alec finally caught a break in the trees up ahead. He went still, one hand going up in a silent gesture that froze the other three Shadowhunters.

Up ahead, showing through the trees, was what looked to have once been an orphanage of some sort. Either that or a very old school. It was the building they’d been able to find in the very little satellite information they’d had.

A few silent gestures were all it took to send the others off in opposite directions. Alec knew better than to try and send his boyfriend away. On missions like this, unless it was absolutely necessary to split up, Magnus stayed with Alec. He bluntly told him once that he wasn’t going to separate from Alec. Especially not when Alec had sent his parabatai off. Someone needed to guard Alec’s back.

The thought gave Alec a warm feeling. It was strange to have someone whose sole goal seemed to be to look out for _him_. Usually, it was _his_ job to look out for everyone else.

They waited silently in the trees as Clary and Isabelle went forward and off to either side, circling as best they could to try and scout out the lay of things. They knew better than to get too close without letting Magnus check for wards. But Alec still waited, tense, eyes scanning all around them for trouble until Isabelle appeared in the distance, to the right of the building, and gave him the sign to approach.

What was up there must not have looked too bad. Alec trusted Isabelle enough to know she would’ve given the sign for backup if she really thought it was needed.

Together, Alec and Magnus moved forward while Jace circled around to join Clary.

It wasn’t until they were practically on top of the building that Magnus finally stopped them. He went still, both hands up flat in front of him in a gesture Alec was getting familiar with. One that meant Magnus had found and was feeling around the wards. He shifted himself into a defensive posture to guard Magnus’ back while he worked.

Magnus braced his feet apart, and Alec could see the power slowly growing around his hands. Alec stayed at his back, ready to guard or to help as needed. Isabelle was still off to the right, Jace and Clary to the left.

It took only moments before Alec felt the shift of magic in the air around them. He twisted his head in time to watch Magnus _push_. Sparks of blue and red shot out against something that was a dark, sickly looking green, running over it in a giant dome that seemed to crackle before _imploding_.

Seconds later, the dilapidated looking orphanage was replaced with a building that, honestly, wasn’t in much better condition, but looked more likely to house people in it.

Magnus drew his magic back into his hands and grinned. It wasn’t a friendly one. “We’re in. And we’re not alone. Though I think we can handle this ourselves.”

The light of two seraph blades lit up the dark to their left, and then another to their right.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “You Shadowhunters have no sense of subtlety.”

“Then you fit right in,” Alec shot back, a smile softening his words.

Grinning, Magnus actually blew a kiss at him while Alec came to stand at his side instead of behind him. “Have I mentioned lately that I quite love how sassy you’ve gotten?”

The two of them moved together toward the door. Alec had his bow at the ready, an arrow already in place, and he knew Magnus would have his magic sitting at the ready too. Yet despite that danger, Alec’s lips were quirked up in a half-smile. “Funny. Yesterday you were saying the opposite. Something about me getting too _lippy_.”

The way Magnus grinned at that had Alec wanting to chuckle. They’d gone out to lunch with Catarina yesterday, and the two had teamed up to pick on Magnus, something that didn’t get to happen often. More often than not, in any gatherings, it was _Alec_ who bore the brunt of people’s jokes.

“And I still maintain you were. It’s entirely unfair when the two people closest to me team up against me,” Magnus said.

They’d made it through the doors now, inside a dimly lit hall. Either their talking had drawn attention, or the people inside had felt the wards come down. Likely the first one with a potential bit of the second one. As Magnus had said, they really weren’t being subtle.

Alec and Magnus were barely two steps in when two Circle members stepped out at the far end of the hall. Neither Alec nor Magnus gave them a moment to try anything. As soon as they were in view, an arrow and a blast of magic were flying down the hallway.

Alec walked on as he watched the two Shadowhunters hit the ground. “Consider it payback for all the times you two like to embarrass _me_.”

Laughter bubbled up from Magnus’. “You make it so easy, though, darling. And I do so love watching you blush.”

A door slammed open, and three more Circle members came at them. They were close enough to the door this time that there was no way a long-distance shot would work. Magnus wrapped magic around his hands as he moved forward and quickly intercepted the first. Alec slid his bow back over his shoulder and twisted the arrow in his hand to use as a close-range weapon.

By the time they took them down, which was no time at all, Magnus was grinning again. Or still. It was hard to tell with him. Alec had never met someone who could hold their composure so well during a fight. “Your siblings got the rest. I don’t feel any other Shadowhunters in here.”

Whatever reply Alec might’ve given was cut off by a loud call of: “Guys, down here!”

Isabelle’s voice echoed up toward them from somewhere nearby. In one smooth move, Alec turned, and he felt Magnus right at his side as they followed the sound of Isabelle’s voice into the next room.

She stood in front of a door that she very clearly couldn’t get through, hands up against something that she could feel but couldn’t see. At their entrance, she turned toward them. “I almost missed it, buy Tannyll said he felt something here. As soon as he touched it, I could see it, too.”

Magnus stepped around Alec to get closer to the door. “Well now, hello there,” he murmured, ignoring the rest of them to walk right up to where Isabelle stood. He brought his hands up as well and placed them where hers had been. Isabelle drew back to give him more space to work.

There was a moment of quiet broken only by Clary and Jace coming to join them. Jace shot a look at Magnus, then over at Alec, one eyebrow raised in silent question. Alec shook his head. He didn’t know what was going on yet.

He gave Magnus a few moments of mumbling to himself before he spoke up. “Magnus?”

The sound of Alec’s voice broke through Magnus’ focus just a little. Not enough to break his concentration, but enough to remind him that he wasn’t alone. “The door is warded,” Magnus answered almost absently. “Far better than the other warding. Whatever they had in here, not even the warlock Valentine used wanted it to get out.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Jace pointed out.

Clary huffed, and it sounded like she elbowed him. “We can’t just ignore it, though. What if there are people down there?”

Alec ignored them for a moment. He reached out, curling his fingers around Magnus’ wrist and held there as Magnus looked up at him. A hint of gold was peeking out through the glamour on his eyes. Just a small flash, a sign of the power inside. Alec took that in, as well as the slightly distant edge, and nodded to himself. “Do what you need to – we’ll watch your back.”

For a second, Magnus’ expression softened. He smiled at Alec, nodding back at him, and then turned his attention once more toward the door.

A few hand gestures from Alec had everyone spreading out. Alec and Jace stood directly at Magnus’ back, their backs toward him, while Clary took one side and Isabelle the other. Though Magnus had said the place was clear, they weren’t going to take any chances with him. One thing they’d all learned working together was how vulnerable a warlock could be while focusing on magic like this. Their attention had to be fully on their magic, or they could be at serious risk. That meant it was their job to watch over him until he was done.

After a long moment, Alec felt it as Magnus shifted. The familiar hum of magic that Alec almost always registered around him grew to an even stronger buzz than usual. “I’ve got it,” Magnus said, drawing the attention of the others. “Whatever this is, whoever they have down here… they’re strong. I can feel strong, _old_ magic on the other side. I don’t know what we’re going to find once I pull the ward down.” Tilting his head up, he twisted until he caught Alec’s eye. Whatever look he saw there had him sighing. “I won’t be able to convince you to wait up here, will I?”

Alec shot him a dry look that spoke clearer than any words.

Sighing again, Magnus shook his head. “Fine. But stay behind me until we know what it is we’re dealing with. This… for them to be held down here, they’ve got to be chained, but even so, their magical presence is still stronger than anything I’ve ever seen.”

Alec gave him a nod to let him know to do what needed to be done. Then he went back to scanning the area, trying to keep a watch just in case.

He was looking down the hall when he first felt it – a strange tingle washing over him.

Magic.

Not just Magnus’. Alec was far too used to that, and he had a feeling he’d be able to pick it out amongst any other magic. There was something else there, too, that felt kind of oily against his skin. Alec wrinkled his nose yet said nothing on it. He felt Magnus’ magic increase in response, giving a firm tug, and then everything in Alec’s world washed away on a wave of color and beautiful, glorious _sound_.

It was like something had reached inside Alec’s chest and plucked at his heartstrings. He felt the echo of it reverberate straight down to his soul.

Without even realizing it, Alec’s bow fell out of his hand to clatter down to the ground, drawing the attention of the others. Jace twisted toward him, already shifting his stance to defend them both. At the same time, his eyes cut over to Alec. “Alec?”

That sensation came again, reaching into him like Magnus’ magic, only cooler. Stronger. _Older_. Yet he felt no fear. It was inside of him, tugging at his heart, his _soul_ , in a way Alec was helpless to resist. He could feel it echoing in him like a melody he’d only ever dreamed of before.

Someone spoke to him, called his name again, but Alec was blind to it. He was already turning, following that sound. He had to see where it led. He _had to_!

“Don’t touch him,” someone else said firmly. That voice, Alec knew that voice. It was safe, warm, gentle hands that sparkled and shone, quiet whispers of _I love you_ peppered against his skin.

 ** _I love you, too_** , the melody seemed to whisper to him. Alec followed it as it grew stronger, ringing under his skin with the kind of fire that threatened to burn everything _but_ him. **_I have always loved you, and I always will_** _._

Alec stumbled, feet catching on the uneven stairs, and the only thing that kept him from falling was the warm press of magic against his chest. No hands, just magic, and the music rose a little in shared joy. **_Ours_** , it seemed to say, pushing up in him to brush where Magnus’ magic was touching. **_Ours, ours, always ours_** _._

It felt like the whole world had turned thick and syrupy. Colors bled together, sounds faded in and out. Alec was caught up in the maelstrom of music and power that was pouring into him. He was helpless to do anything except go to it.

When Alec stumbled yet again, he felt something solid move underneath him, catching him up. The music reached its crescendo the instant they touched – an explosion of sound and light that consumed everything Alec was, everything he’d ever been. He was torn apart and sewn back together in what should’ve been absolute agony. Only there was no pain. Instead, there was the kind of peace that he’d only ever heard of. A peace he’d never thought would be his.

“ ** _I have you, now_** _,_ ” a warm, steady voice murmured in his ears, in his _soul_. “ ** _My wonderful, beautiful one. Mine Own. You’re not alone. Not anymore – not ever again_** _._ ”

The solid weight under him shifted, and Alec wrapped himself tighter around it, clinging like a child to the only thing that felt safe at that moment. In response, something warm and heavy draped over his back, sheltering him from a world that sometimes felt like it had only ever wanted to hurt him. Alec was cradled there by a being he knew would never willingly cause him harm.

There, wrapped up in warmth and safety, the broken parts of Alec were cradled gently by a power strong enough to take down anything that dared to harm him ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec had no idea how long he stayed where he was. He lost all sense of what was going on around him, or even where he was. But eventually, little by little, bits and pieces of the world were trying to seep back in, despite how much he didn’t want to let them. Wherever he was, whatever was going on, he didn’t want to break away from it. He _never_ wanted to leave this space where he felt safe and protected and _whole._

Only one thing was missing. Alec’s arm twitched, reaching behind him for the comforting weight of his boyfriend, only to find nothing there.

 ** _Shh_** , a warm voice rumbled through him. **_I have you, Mine Own_**.

A second later, Alec heard that voice outside of his own head, felt it vibrate through the solid warmth against his front. “If the rest of you wouldn’t mind _shutting up_ for a moment, you’re needed over here, Your Highness.”

“ _Your Highness_?” a voice echoed. _Jace_ , Alec’s mind slowly supplied. _That was Jace._

In the next moment, none of it mattered. Some of the warmth around Alec shifted, drawing a faint whine up from his throat. No sooner had he made that sound than a very familiar and very welcome weight was pressed right up against the back of Alec, one strong arm slipping around him to pet soothingly over his chest. “Shh, _sayang_. Shh. I’m right here. You’re all right.”

The warmth and weight of that blanket settled over Alec again, only this time it kept Magnus in there with him, and Alec’s whole body relaxed. This was what had been missing. He had everything he needed now right here with him.

“What’s wrong with him?”

Even in a state like this, Alec recognized the sound of his sister’s voice. The worry in it was enough to draw Alec up out of his fog a little. Instinct demanded he respond to that sound; that he find some way to make it all right. Only, the blanket wrapped around them didn’t move, and Magnus was shushing him again, his hand sliding up Alec’s chest to pet at his throat, twisting until knuckles were stroking Alec’s cheek.

Again, Alec felt the deep rumble in front of him while that same firm voice spoke from somewhere up above. “Your brother has survived over a decade without a bond. His soul is aching and broken from all the damage your kind has done to him. Damage not even I can heal in an instant. Give him time to assimilate to the fact that he’s finally whole.”

That seemed to shut everyone up. Alec had a feeling he should probably be paying more attention to things – those words sounded important. Like they might be something he actually cared about. But the music was still in him, Magnus was pressed to his back, and _she_ was right there in front of him. Focusing on anything else seemed like more effort than it was worth.

The music inside gave a low, comforting hum. **_I would keep you here always, Mine Own, if it were what you wanted. But I’d much rather take you somewhere safe and secure, first. Somewhere your Mate and I can shelter you properly so that your body and soul have time to heal in a proper nest, not in this hellhole._**

A nest. That sounded lovely, but… that was something dragons did, and Alec didn’t have a dragon. He’d never had a nest. Never felt the peace all Shadowhunters seemed to experience when they curled in them with their dragons and sank down into their bond.

This time the rumble in front of him carried a pained note to it. As did the music inside of him.

**_You may not have had one before, but you have me now, and I will never leave you. I’m so sorry it took us so long to find one another. I never wanted to stay away from you, Mine Own. I hope you believe that_ ** **.**

Of course Alec believed that. How could he believe anything _but_ when everything about her rang with sincerity and _love_?

The tune to their music changed a little. It shifted into something softer, less all-encompassing.

**_It’s time to wake up, Mine Own._ **

The more the music faded, settling down to a quiet thrumming deep down inside of him, the more alert Alec became. He felt more, first. The hard ground under him, the hard and surprisingly comfortable thing under his upper half, propping him up against something solid yet smooth, rippling with little… scales? _A dragon. I’m leaning against the chest of a dragon_?

After that, the rest of it started to sink in. The dragon in front of him, Magnus behind him, and that warm blanket that was over them was a _wing_. Alec had been sheltered under Jonik’s wing before; he knew what it felt like to have a dragon wing curl around him. But this one didn’t feel like any dragon Alec had ever touched.

He blinked his eyes a few times to bring everything into focus. When he did, he found his face was pressed up against scales that shone like silver.

And just like that, everything came snapping into focus.

Magnus standing in front of the door, working to break down the wards. The rest of them guarding his back. The wards falling and then the _music_ that had rushed out at him – the call of the bond. The song he’d heard tales of but had never felt. It’d reached up from the depths of that space Magnus had unlocked and twined itself around Alec’s soul. His dragon, calling out to him, with Alec helpless to do anything but respond. He vaguely remembered stumbling down some stairs. Had Magnus had to catch him at some point? Then, faint hints of something large, just moments before he’d crashed to his knees in front of them and was caught and cradled in the safety of _his_ dragon’s arms.

Now that Alec knew it was there, he could recognize the bond for what it was. The music inside him hadn’t gone away. It’d only changed, shifting into something else, something that was harmonizing with his own power. With his soul. It was like the parabatai bond, and yet at the same time, it was _so much more._ The parabatai bond was giving up a piece of his soul and trading it for a piece of Jace’s. _This_ was like finding half of his soul he hadn’t even known existed.

Alec tried to make his body move. He slid his hands down to press against the thing he was lying on. _A leg._ But his arms shook, and it took Magnus quickly tightening his arm around Alec’s chest to keep him from falling right back down. “Careful, Alexander,” Magnus murmured by his ear. “Your body’s gone through quite the change. You’ll need to take this slowly.”

“Listen to your Mate,” someone chided him.

More alert now, Alec recognized that voice. A quieter echo of the one that had spoken to him inside their bond. It was almost smoky sounding, yet also light and airy with a hint of something dangerous sitting just underneath.

Alec didn’t really have much choice except to follow her advice. He wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to get up if it weren’t for Magnus’ help. He stayed right up against Alec, slipping under his arm to stand tall at his side, practically hoisting the two of them upright in a show of strength Alec might’ve enjoyed at any other time.

As he got his feet under him, and his legs finally stopped feeling like they were going to give way, the darkness around them parted like the drawing of curtains to let in the morning light.

Years of training had Alec’s eyes scanning the space around him first and foremost. He took in his sister, Jace, and Clary, all of them standing a few feet away with their dragons in their small forms, all of them unharmed. But then Alec’s focus moved to the very large, very beautiful dragon right in front of him.

She was the most magnificent dragon Alec had ever seen. Easily taller than Jonik by at least a head or two, and longer as well, though she wasn’t near as solidly built as he was. But she wasn’t as slender as Tannyll, either. Her body was long and lean with clear muscle here and there in her chest and her long legs. Four horns sat on the back of her head, close to her skull and then curving out and back in again, while hard frills jutted out from the hinge of her jaw. There were no spikes or spines on her back, just on the elbow joints of each leg. Even the tip of her tail was free of any spikes. It created an image both sleek and deadly.

And her coloring… it was like an inversion of Alec’s own natural coloring. Most of her was pitch black, like the dark shadows that filled the hidden corners of the city at night. But her horns, claws, the underside of her neck and belly, and the spikes on her elbows, they were silver.

Alec looked up at her head, which she lowered down to put them more at eye level, and he felt words dry up in his throat. By all rights, most people would likely be terrified. From the bottom of her jaw to the top of her snout covered Alec from shoulder to knee, best as he could figure.

Yet all he could think as he looked at her was: _You’re beautiful_.

Alec was surprised when she chuckled. **_You’re not so bad yourself, Mine Own. I always wondered what you would look like. What you would feel like to me._** Leaning in a little, she bumped her nose into his chest, laughing when he stumbled back into Magnus. **_You far surpass any dream I might have created in here_**.

Though his body shook a little from the effort of it, Alec lifted one hand and reached out, letting his palm settle on the top of her snout. “I missed you.”

The words weren’t at all what he’d meant to say. They were true, though. Far truer than anything else that might’ve come out of his mouth. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t known she was real, that she was out there somewhere. A part of him had been missing her for his entire life.

He watched the corner of her mouth curl up a little in pleasure. She pushed in a bit, nosing at Alec’s chest once more in a move much gentler than the last. “As I missed you, Mine Own.”

“Alec.” He flushed a little, though he wasn’t sure why. “I’m, um, I’m Alec. And this is Magnus.”

“And I am Amathla. I’m so very pleased to finally meet you.” Her head shifted, one dark silver eye moving to look over next to him at Magnus. “The both of you.”

Though Magnus didn’t move from under Alec’s arm, still clearly supporting him, he did give a small bow. The best he could manage in his position. “The pleasure is all mine, my lady.”

To Alec’s surprise, and the amusement of most of the room, Amathla huffed out a low, husky laugh, and she winked at Magnus. “Oh, you’re a charmer. Good. I was hoping I would like you. I didn’t want to have to start my relationship with my bonded by trying not to eat the one he chose as a mate.”

The laughter of the others brought Alec’s focus back to the fact that they weren’t alone in the room. Nor were they somewhere that he should really be stopping to make these kinds of introductions or curl himself up like a small kid in her lap. He tried to square his feet and force his body to stand more on its own. Assuming the role of _leader_ he’d always been taught to play.

Only to have Amathla butt against him with her nose once more and knock him into Magnus.

 ** _None of that,_** she scolded him, thankfully in their bond and not out loud. Alec didn’t need the teasing he would get if she dressed him down in front of the others. **_Allow your mate to hold you up, and I will handle introductions myself. The sooner we get you out of here and somewhere I can nest, the better we shall both be._ **Out loud, she firmly announced, “The rest of our introductions can wait.” She turned to Magnus again and fixed him with a firm look. “Do you have somewhere you can take us that’s safe and secure?”

Magnus drew his arm a little tighter around Alec’s waist. At the same time, he reached up for the arm that was around his shoulders and caught hold of Alec’s wrist. “I do. My loft has the best possible wards around it. Though it’s not currently prepared to house one as lovely as yourself.”

Snorting, Amathla shook her head. Alec could still see her smile, though. “I’m sure whatever you have will be just fine by me.”

In the next moment, Alec watched as Amathla performed the same magic that Alec had seen countless times before. One he never grew tired of seeing. Amathla’s body drew inward, shrinking down from her massive size to something more comparable to a very large dog. She immediately pressed in up against his free side.

The top of her back reached about to his hip, and her head rose to almost shoulder height.

Okay, so maybe less _large dog_ and more _small horse._

“Come on.” She nudged at his arm, encouraging his hand to come and rest against her neck, helping to brace him up. “Let’s get you home, Mine Own.”

Supported by his dragon on one side, and his partner on the other, Alec walked out of that dark, dirty basement cell and into the warm comfort of a place that had started to gradually become _home_ , feeling for the first time that he might actually be _whole_.

* * *

Nothing Alec had ever read or heard about bonding with a dragon prepared him for what it felt like. He’d poured over all the books, heard stories from his siblings. He knew the general idea of what to expect both before and after. Precautions were kept in place to make sure a bonded pair was taken care of when all was said and done.

Most pairs were secluded for the first twenty-four hours while their bond was given a chance to settle. In that time, it was normal for the two to be possessive over one another, and for them to sometimes get a little lost in their bond as they learned to function with someone who was literally another part of their soul.

Isabelle had described it as feeling like she was alive for the very first time. Like the world suddenly had more sounds, more colors, more _everything_. “It was like I had to learn how to live all over again. Tannyll was the only thing in the world that mattered. He and I were so intertwined, we had to figure out how to exist outside each other.”

For Jace, it’d been a bit different. He hadn’t talked about it much. Despite what others might think, Jace was very private, especially with his emotions. But one night he’d been tucked up in bed with Alec, too drunk and too scared to be in his own room that night, and he’d told him: “Jonik and I fought every step of the way. It took us a few days longer than most to settle in our bond. I didn’t… I wanted to trust him, but I… I _didn’t_. _To love is to destroy_. I didn’t wanna destroy anyone, but especially not him.”

What Alec felt was nothing like either one of those. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Alec and Amathla were both older. Or Alec’s experience with the parabatai bond.

Alec didn’t feel like he needed to relearn the world. Nor did he feel the need to fight Amathla’s presence inside him. If anything, he practically _threw himself_ into their bond in a way that left him just a little bit embarrassed.

Not embarrassed enough to let go of her, though.

Magnus had conjured up some blankets on the living room floor the instant they’d arrived at the loft. Between him and Amathla, Alec found himself situated down on that blanket with Amathla curled around him like a mother around her foal. She was on her side with Alec pulled in against her shoulder and neck. It allowed him to press his cheek against her neck, and for her wing to curl forward and drape on him like a blanket.

To Alec’s surprise, Magnus easily folded himself down to the ground with them, seemingly not at all bothered with sitting on the floor. He’d drawn Alec’s feet into his lap – after magicking away his muddy shoes – and was rubbing at his calves.

Jace and Clarry took the couch, while Isabelle was in the chair, and all their eyes were on him.

Realizing that had Alec wanting to shuffle a little. He had to fight the urge to draw Amathla’s wing a little more over him to hide behind. The urge only furthered his embarrassment. He wasn’t a _child_. Even as a kid, he hadn’t been the type to duck down and hide from a problem. His parents had taught him to meet them head on. _We’re Lightwoods. We break noses and accept the consequences._

“I get the very strong feeling I’m going to end up wanting to eat quite a few of the people in your life,” Amathla said suddenly, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen over them all.

Her words had Alec’s head snapping up to look at her. Off to the side, Isabelle snorted. But it was Jace who beat them all to answering. “Probably.”

“To be fair, Mom’s gotten better,” Isabelle chimed in, grinning a little and shrugging.

Alec sent a quick warning glare toward his siblings. Then he tilted his head to try and catch Amathla’s eye. “No one’s eating anyone.”

She didn’t even bat an eye at his glare. “We’ll see.”

“Perhaps some light mauling, at the very least,” Magnus chipped in, grinning when it got him a glare as well. He stroked his hand over Alec’s ankle, up under his pants to his calf. His expression softened in that way that always made Alec want to squirm a little. “You have people who care about you, Alexander. You can’t fault us for wanting to protect you as much as you protect us.”

That wasn’t their job, though. That was his job. One that he’d unfortunately failed at more often than not lately.

Amathla let out a heavy sigh. Turning her head, she shot him a flat, unimpressed look that had Alec instinctively wanting to duck his head down. **_We’re going to have a talk about self-worth and accepting the love of others. But for now, getting you worked up was not my intention in bringing you here. You need to rest_**.

 _What about you_? Alec was a bit hesitant in just _thinking_ toward her. Yet she’d heard his thoughts clearly before, even the ones he hadn’t really wanted to share. Hopefully she would hear them now, too. _You need rest. Where we found you…_ Though his thoughts trailed off, the images it brought to mind were enough to have them both flinching.

Alec brought one hand up to cup the side of her face. Where they’d found her, how she’d been trapped, the implications of that were finally starting to sink in. He was ashamed that they hadn’t been clear to him before. “Valentine had you captive.”

“He did,” Amathla said, nodding at him. She nuzzled in against his hand just the slightest bit. Though the others were all clearly listening in, the next words Amathla spoke were directed at Alec. The fact that she spoke them aloud made it clear she wanted the others to hear them, too, but her focus was on him. “While Valentine was at the height of his power, when they made the raid to try and take the Mortal Cup, few people know that there was a secondary attack. One made on the Hatching Grounds.”

A sucked in breath came from somewhere nearby. Alec wasn’t sure if it was Isabelle or Jace. For his part, he couldn’t look away from Amathla’s silver eyes, his own shock and horror too strong to do anything but watch and wait. The idea of anyone attacking a place so sacred to them was more than just horrifying. It was _sickening_.

Amathla drew herself up a little, her wings shuffling and resettling, and there was a proud tilt to her head when she lifted her chin, bumping against Alec’s fingers. “There were only a few of us there at the time, for our nests were empty, and many were off with their Shadowhunters. When we were attacked, I was there with my new clutch of eggs. I sounded the alarm, and the few of us that were there fought to protect our eggs.”

The grief and pain that Amathla still felt over that was strong in their bond. Alec closed his eyes and pressed in closer against her neck. His free arm slipped out to curl around her in an attempt at offering comfort. Even if he hadn’t been able to feel what she was feeling, he would’ve known this story couldn’t end well.

Closing her eyes, Amathla bowed her head and pressed it against the hand Alec still held against her face. “We lost a few dragons that day.” Taking a breath, she lifted her head once more, and Alec let his hand fall. Pride straightened her up. “However, we protected the eggs. That was more important than anything.”

“I’ve never heard about this,” Isabelle breathed out. She had Tannyll tight in her arms as if to protect him against a threat long gone.

Jonik, who was sitting up straight beside Jace on the couch, let out a low rumble. “We were all sworn to secrecy. This wasn’t something the Clave wanted to get out. Nor did our kind want anyone to know just how vulnerable our most scared place had been.” His eyes darkened until they were the color of burnished gold. “Or just how much we lost that day.”

The way he was looking at Amathla made it clear just who he meant.

She acknowledged those words with a regal tilt of her head. Her voice remained steady, though their bond throbbed with the grief she felt. “When it was clear we were going to be able to hold them off till reinforcements arrived and that they wouldn’t be getting any eggs, they switched tactics. While the others were occupied, they brought in special chains, and they managed to use their dragons to help chain me down.”

Clary reached out, catching Jace’s hand in hers while she, along with the rest of them, watched Amathla with growing dread. “Oh my God.”

It wasn’t hard to figure out what it was they might’ve taken Amathla for. Alec knew even before she said it and his stomach rolled like he’d just stepped off the side of the Institute without any runes activated.

Amathla leaned into their bond and took the comfort Alec was offering her. She seemed to use it to get through this last part. “They took me to a building and held me there. It was Valentine’s hopes they could use their dragons and force me to mate, to birth new eggs for his new race of Shadowhunters.” She paused as the other dragons in the room growled, and Alec’s grip on her tightened even more. Then she lifted her head and grinned smugly. “Of course, his plan failed. No dragon can mate with another without their willing consent. And before he could attempt to coerce it, most of his group went into hiding. They kept me locked down, too afraid to come in after me, yet unwilling to just let me go. I almost broke free _once_.”

Here she went briefly quiet, and she turned her focus directly to Alec again. Pain darkened her eyes to a dark silver.

“I felt your soul cry out to me, and I would’ve come if I could have. I tried so very hard to come to you,” she insisted softly. Twisting her neck, she pushed in and Alec rose up until they could press their faces together. He didn’t even think of denying the touch. It didn’t matter that anyone was watching. All that mattered to Alec was that Amathla needed hm, and she was right there.

Pressing in close, she gently nuzzled Alec’s face, careful not to catch him with the spikes at her jaw. “I never would have willingly left you alone like this, Mine Own. I’m so sorry for the pain you went through.”

The fact that _she_ was apologizing to _him_ after telling that story baffled Alec. He reached up to cup one side of her face while he pressed his cheek harder against the other. “You have nothing to apologize for. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Their bond opened up wide between them, and Alec happily let himself get washed away in it. Feeling Amathla’s love, her protectiveness and possessiveness, the warmth and peace that echoed through both of them, it was a heady sensation. One that Alec got a little lost in. It was a sensation unlike anything he could even begin to describe. Alec curled himself up in her love and sent his own love back to her.

Uncaring of the room around him, he sank down against his dragon and let everything else fade away except for _them_.

* * *

How long they stayed like that was a mystery. When Alec slowly began to surface again, following the light nudges Amathla was giving him, he could tell that time had passed. Light had filled most of the room, though the spot they were in was still semi dark. Night have given way to morning.

From where Alec was laying on top of her, draped over her neck with his upper body and head safely between her horns, he could see that the living room had emptied. Isabelle, Jace, Clary, Tannyll, Jonik, and Pel were gone. As was Magnus.

**_Your mate will return. He left to attend to a few clients today who could not wait. He didn’t wish to leave you, but I assured him I’d take care of you._ **

It was on the tip of Alec’s tongue to insist that he could take care of himself. He always had.

Wisely, he kept that thought to himself, and felt Amathla’s amused rumble in response. **_Good choice, Mine Own._**

“What about the others?” Alec murmured against her head.

He felt her shift a little. Wings and tail stretched out before lazily drawing back in. Somehow, she managed to do it all without dislodging him at all. **_Your family went to take care of the Institute for you. Your sister assured me they would handle everything so that you could have the customary week-long bonding leave._**

“Week?” Alec’s eyebrows shot up. “Bonded pairs are usually secluded for twenty-four hours, not a _week_.” There was no way he could leave his job for a week! Just the thought of all the paperwork that would pile up, all the things that might happen while he wasn’t there, were enough to have him wanting to shudder.

Amathla gave a low rumble that practically dripped amusement. **_Is that so? My apologies. I must be thinking of older customs. But, seeing as how Isabelle has already put in the request for the week there’s no reason we can’t take advantage of it._**

Narrowing his eyes a little, Alec pushed himself up just enough to glare at the back of Amathla’s head. He wasn’t so blind that he couldn’t see he was being played here. It was something Magnus would do. Hell, Alec was pretty sure it was something Magnus _had_ done when Alec was recovering from an injury before. He just had no proof on it.

The amusement Amathla was feeling grew stronger. It filled their bond with the scent and taste of fresh oranges. **_I was right, I believe I’m really going to like your mate._**

“Because he knows how to play me?”

**_Because he takes care of you in whatever way necessary. Something you have clearly had far too little of in your life, Mine Own._ **

It took a lot of effort for Alec not to sigh or roll his eyes. Instead, he laid his head back down against the surprisingly comfortable scales. It didn’t feel weird to cuddle up against her like this. It just felt _right_. Here, with no one else around, and with the bond singing inside him, it was easy for Alec to relax.

“You know, my life wasn’t as bad as everyone likes to make it out to be,” he felt the need to point out.

Amathla huffed at him. **_Tell that to someone who cannot feel the broken, bleeding parts of your soul._**

That had him grimacing. Was… was his soul really that bad? The idea that it was damaged, broken and bleeding, left Alec’s stomach twisting a little.

 ** _Don’t_**. Amathla’s voice rang through his head like the heavy beat of a drum. It was edged with the type of command Alec put in his own voice sometimes when he needed to make sure his people were listening to him. Only, there was love there too, twisting through everything Amathla said, everything she felt. **_The damage to your soul is no reflection on you, Alec. It’s a reflection of the things that have been done to you, not who you are. Who you are shows through in the fact that your soul is still here. That it still shines so brightly despite everything others have done to snuff it out_**.

Words dried up in his throat. Alec had no idea what to say to that. Or how to feel about it. He could barely handle the kind way that Magnus spoke to him sometimes. Hearing this come from Amathla in such a blunt, straightforward way – from this beautiful being who was connected to Alec on a level deeper than anyone else – had him wanting to bury his face against her scales and hide.

Amathla let him lay there for a moment and just absorb her words. Then she used one of her wings to nudge at him, pushing his legs further onto her back, and she rose smoothly to her feet. “I’ve had enough of being indoors. I want fresh air.”

The abruptness of her words startled Alec almost as much as her movement. However, he recognized a diversion when he was granted one. Without any shame whatsoever, he took full advantage of this one. “Magnus and I like to go out on the balcony over there sometimes,” he said, sitting up a little and gesturing toward the balcony doors. “Or there’s the rooftop, but you’d have to go up those stairs over there…”

One look at the stairs had Amathla snorting. “No, thank you. I’d rather not try and fit myself up those stairs. Unfortunately, you don’t have a proper saddle yet, either.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what she wanted to do. The way she’d perked up a little at the mention of the roof, how she was now eyeing the balcony doors, Alec could easily follow along. He could also understand her desire to be somewhere outside, too. Considering how long she’d been locked away was it any wonder she wanted fresh air?

Alec pushed himself up a little more until he was properly straddling her. It put him just above her wing joins, with her shoulders close to his knees. A lot like riding the horse he’d compared her size to earlier. Resting his hands on her neck, he gave an experimental twist, shuffling so that his thighs carefully drug across her scales. Though there was pressure, there wasn’t anything to suggest he couldn’t handle a little movement. It wasn’t any worse than draping on her to sleep.

“I think the leather on my pants is thick enough to make a quick trip up to the roof,” he said, smiling a little. That smile grew when he felt her interest and excitement pick up a little.

“We should grab you something to eat before we go up there. You haven’t eaten yet this day.”

Alec rolled his eyes, yet he smiled fondly at the back of her head. “Trust me, when Magnus gets home, he’ll be pretty insistent on feeding us both.” That was just kind of part of who he was.

His words must’ve satisfied Amathla well enough. She started to delicately move her way around the furniture in the loft, wings drawn in so as not to bump into anything. Alec curled his legs a little more and adjusted his stance as she moved. Riding her was far easier than any of the horses he’d ridden.

“I’m going to get a complex if you keep comparing me to a horse,” Amathla said dryly. She nosed at the balcony doors as she reached them, easily getting the door to open for her. Alec leaned forward enough to help push open the other one.

He rubbed lightly at her neck as he sat back again. “I’m sorry. It’s just, it’s the closest mental comparison I can make to your size, and it’s the only real frame of reference I have for riding. Magnus has taken me to go horseback riding a few times.”

“You’ve never ridden a dragon?” Amathla’s voice was heavy with surprise. She paused at the edge of the balcony, turning her head to look back at him. “Not even your parabatai’s?”

He shrugged a little uncomfortably. “They offered. I didn’t see any reason to accept.” Why bother taunting himself with what he’d been convinced he would never have?

Alec knew his skills were best suited to dragon-back. Considering who and what they all were, he’d always thought there would be more archers amongst the Shadowhunters. But what few there were all seemed to prefer the crossbow to the actual bow. Alec had worked hard to be proficient in all of them. Crossbow, traditional bow, compound bow – if it had arrows, he could shoot it. All in preparation to be able to one day ride his dragon.

When years kept passing, and he never found his dragon, he’d kept up his practice but adapted it to work on the ground. Even if it would’ve made sense for him to occasionally hop on Jonik, even when they’d _offered_ mid-battle, Alec never took them up on it.

All of that passed through Alec’s mind in an instant. He knew that Amathla picked up on it; could feel the sadness she felt, as well as the wave of love she sent immediately afterward.

Raziel bless her, she didn’t say anything, about it though. She just turned back around and lifted her front feet up onto the balcony ledge while her wings spread out to the sides. “We’ll have to set aside some time to practice,” she said instead. “For now, loosen your ankles and push your knees in so my shoulders don’t jostle you. Good. Now lean forward and wrap your arms tight around my neck. There’s nothing else for you to hold on to and I don’t want you slipping. We’ll practice hands-free riding later.”

She waited until Alec had followed her directions. Then, with one last “Hang on!” she was leaping out into the open air.

Alec felt the wind rush past them as their bodies plummeted for a few moments before her wings snapped wide and they caught the current. It twisted them, sending him sliding to one side, only for the flap of her wings to create a blast of air that knocked him back up. Alec’s grip on her neck was tight, and his blood was singing as she took them up to the rooftop.

He didn’t realize he was laughing until they’d landed. Despite what he’d expected, her landing was smooth, barely jostling him at all, and he found himself grinning and laughing when he straightened up. “That was amazing!”

“I can’t wait to take you riding properly.” Amathla sounded thrilled at the prospect. Or maybe that was just at the simple idea of being able to fly. Alec could only imagine how much she might want to stretch her wings.

Thinking of that had him shifting around until he could slide down off of her. She held still, letting Alec get his feet under him, and then turned her head to look at him. Alec smiled, reaching out to pet against her neck as he did. “You know, you could go ahead and take a quick flight. I wouldn’t mind.”

Amathla lowered her head enough to nudge at Alec’s shoulder. “I’m content with where I am. I’d much prefer taking the time to get to know you.”

The fact that she really meant that was something Alec could feel. He flushed a little underneath that kind of attention. It wasn’t something he was used to from anyone except Magnus.

Amathla’s snout nudged against Alec’s shoulder, and her silver eyes looked sad. **_I wish I could’ve been there for you from the start, Mine Own. To be with you, protect you, and make sure you never felt like you were alone._**

“You’re here now.” To Alec, that said it all. Worrying about the past wasn’t going to change any of it. All they could do was go forward. And with Amathla by his side, he had a feeling that their future was about to look a whole lot brighter.

He wasn’t the same lonely, terrified kid that he’d once been. Alec had grown up under the stigma of not having a dragon. He’d defied the expectations set for him and proved himself a warrior, a leader, even without the dragon that everyone else had. He’d made himself a life as best as he could, and it was a good one. Finding Magnus was more than Alec could’ve ever hoped to find for himself. Someone who cared about him, looked after him, and loved him even with all of his mistakes.

And now – now Alec had Amathla, too. The part of himself that he’d always known was missing but never thought he would find. He had family, friends, a job he was good at, a future that was looking brighter by the minute, an amazing lover, and an equally amazing dragon. Whatever else came his way, Alec could handle it. Just so long as he had them by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for now! If I get the urge, I might come back to this one day. We'll see. For now, I hope you liked it, and thank you for all your comments/kudos!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading - be sure to let me know what you think!
> 
> And if you'd like to join a Multifandom server on Discord, come hang out [HERE](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) with me and a group of amazing people!
> 
> Also, though I'm rarely on there, you can find me on tumblr [HERE](https://to-the-stars-writing.tumblr.com/) and say hi, send an ask, or even leave me a prompt if you'd like :)


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